We bid farewell to a giant
On Wednesday, November 16, Maestro Héctor Fernández Álvarez passed away. This writing is an essential act to say goodbye, remember him, and testify my experience with a human being as lovable as exceptional.
The farewell ceremony for my beloved Héctor Fernández Álvarez (1944 — 2023), from Friday, November 17, to Saturday, November 18, was perhaps the most emotional, sincere, and hopeful of all the ones I have participated in my life.
The sad celebration of the departure of a unique individual, a ‘prophet’ as Beatriz Gómez — one of my memorable professors at the university and current President of the Aiglé Foundation — honored him with her deeply moved words, clarifying, due to knowing his humility well, that Héctor wouldn’t have liked that term.
In my case, as an irreverent who loved him from the soul, I allow myself to affirm that we bid farewell to a giant, to a person who achieved the highest that a human being can aspire to: being loved and recognized in life by family, friends, colleagues, disciples, students, and patients. An interpersonal recognition that surely meant much more to him than all the international and local awards received for his scientific and academic contribution to clinical psychology and psychotherapeutic practice.
On Saturday, we rejoined in the beautiful park in Bella Vista (Buenos Aires) chosen with Diana Kirszman, his life companion. Many of us, who possibly couldn’t conceive of continuing our lives regularly without one last hug, were present, and undoubtedly, fewer in number than those who wanted to but couldn’t attend the farewell ceremony on that sunny spring morning. His departure took us all by surprise, dismayed those of us who maintained contact with him, and expected to see him that night, the next day, or the following week (as was my case). We are fortunate to have been able to say goodbye together.
Héctor lived so fully that his multiple facets emerged spontaneously and necessarily in the words, gestures, and memories of those present. As his undergraduate student and one of his patients until his departure, I could confirm distinctive aspects that I knew and, at the same time, discover others that he knew how to reserve as part of the impeccability with which he performed as a psychotherapist. I already knew he was great, but in those testimonials, I encountered the giant that I intend to honor here.
First, his closest and most intimate relatives were able to express not only their immense love for him but also the value of family and the presence that Héctor cultivated, as well as that visible trait of his passion for all human matter. Héctor was a thorough humanist throughout his life and someone devoted to serving others in everyday life.
Then, his colleagues, many of them friends and companions in a transformative work in psychology, psychotherapy, and the lives of thousands of people in our country and the world. They recalled his conviction, generosity, closeness, dedication, and teachings, and above all, his determination for the work represented by and instituted in Aiglé to transcend. A mission that Héctor fulfilled with flying colors in that torch he dreamed of and founded with others in the ’70s, and which continues today in a Foundation structured by an institutional project for public health, research, teaching, and for all his patients!
Yes, his patients were also there, to mourn him and talk with the intimacy of always while holding onto his hands through the astral vehicle that led him to his final resting place.
Because he transformed our minds and hearts with his mastery, tirelessly helping us to persist in the task of living well, believing in what we are, and treating ourselves as a living novel with us as authors and protagonists. Yes, he worked alongside us with total dedication, both in moments of distress and happiness, as a beacon always present and truly available when we needed him, whether in Argentina or traveling the world.
He was the greatest of patients, stoically enduring our relapses, demands, resistances, and projected complaints on his shoulders, never losing his professional stance or emotional mastery. We repaid him with our commitment, achievements, growth, and the conquest of greater well-being. In the almost thirty years that I was his patient in groups and individually, I never noted from him a neglect of our therapeutic alliance or a failure in the setting of our work. He defined himself above all as a psychotherapist and was an exceptional one. I have no doubt about it.
I feel that we bid farewell to a giant, a different and endearing human being, and a superlative professional.
My dear Héctor Fernández Álvarez, you left us everything someone can leave in the deployment of their values and vocation. Our lives are better thanks to your words and affection. I am convinced that you left in peace, going to meet your brother and the music you loved so much, and aware that your work lives in all of us, bearers of the glow of your torch.
Infinite thanks, Master, wise savior of souls. I will continue talking to you, invoking your teachings, and celebrating your presence until my last moment. Goodbye!
Mariano Barusso | Psychologist and Apprentice | Buenos Aires, Argentina, November 24, 2023
